Introduction to My Son's First Home

Most of us can think back on our childhood home and recall pretty good memories. You can call to mind birthday parties, Christmases, learning to ride a bike on your street and friends you made in the neighborhood.  A good number of us can remember how nice our bedroom was, our childhood pets and the smell of mom’s cooking. Even if our childhood wasn’t always perfect, memories of that time in our lives are usually enough to bring a smile to our face. Most know we were blessed and for those who don’t, I hope by the end of this you receive a little perspective.  

Here is a little of what my son’s home was like –

          In April of 2012 this News Article hit Bulgaria (This is just an excerpt)

18 children died over a year and a half

Babies and young children are being left hungry for days, lie in urine without having their diapers changed for twenty-four hours, due to which most of them are severely ill.  Over a year and a half, 18 children have died, as evidenced by a Report of the CPA. This provoked an inspection by the Minister of Health Dessislava Atanassova.  Yesterday she commented that she left there crying.
At the moment, 154 children live in the institution. After the inspection, Ms. Atanassova found out that, obviously, the personnel had known about her visit, as the children were all dressed up nicely, the sheets were changed and the toys were new.  The stench of urine, however, made a huge impression.
“While I walked through the rooms and watched the children, I cried. After that, I got mad and was greatly upset that they were doing wrong things,” the health minister said. She made a hint that probably serious financial misuses had been done in the institution, as any accountability was lacking.
VERONICA AFTER LEAVING THE ORPHANAGE
4 kilograms and 850 grams. That’s how much the 9 year old Veronica weighed on November 14, 2011. That was her last day in Home For Medical and Social Care for Children in Pleven which terrified the health minister and CPA. She couldn’t pull up to a sitting or standing position and only was lying down. Today, 5 months later, in the USA, in Pennsylvania, she is already weighing 12 kilograms and has a chance for life.

       Veronica now goes by Katie and has a marvelous family to care for her. Please read her full story here http://theblessingofverity.com/2012/10/the-story-of-katies-adoption/ 

Below is a video taken in 2011 to bring awareness to the conditions of this orphanage and solicit funding for the Baba Program (Grandmother Nurturing Program.) The Baba Program has been implemented to help the children receive the individual care that is not being provided by the orphanage staff. This program has been a huge blessing to the children but unfortunately the due to funding not all children are able to participate. The conditions of this orphanage had already been improving by this point and continue to improve today but are they still much too far behind. This video is of only the least distressing parts of the orphanage yet it is obvious just how very sad the situation really is. Some of the speaking is very soft and hard to understand so turn up the volume and listen well.  

I praise God everyday for my son and I am honored that He would trust me with a child who has been through so much already though I know I am not worthy. I pray that God gives him peace about the horrible memories he will have of his first years. I pray that he may feel so enveloped by the love of God the he isn’t haunted by visions of the past. I pray for the Grace to get through the days when he decides to talk about them so I can be the support he needs. And I pray that the Lord is with all of the children who grew up in this same situation and that he save other innocents from go through these types of abuse.

 

If any of you would like a chance to learn how you can help or get involved One Heart Bulgarian is a wonderful place to get started. www.oneheart-bg.org/

Find Christ in Your Heartbreak

Heartbreak, it keeps you up at night and makes you unable to get out of bed during the day. It makes you cry yourself sick and scream till you have no voice. It makes you long for love and curse every happy person you see. It offends your pride and makes you question your worth. It causes you to distrust people yet seek out their approval. Its gut wrenching and life altering. It’s hope shattered and love rejected. And unfortunately … it’s everywhere.

It’s in the husband whose wife has left him for another man. It’s in the wife who is watching her relationship with her husband be replaced by his work. It’s in the child who has grown up with an absentee parent. It’s in the widow who watched the love of her life die of cancer. It’s in the woman who has given herself to another man who didn’t value her enough to stick around. Heartbreak – it’s a silent killer. It kills your hopes and dreams, your self-esteem, your goals, and your belief of the good in people and the good in you. It can even kill your faith and shake your trust in God.

Why has God let this happen? We often get tunnel vision when in pain. We can’t always see past the heartache to the world Jesus is holding up so we can deal with the hurt. Sometimes we don’t recognize that while he didn’t stop our pain from happening he gave us the perfect best friend to cry to or put that pastor, who can help you pray through your struggles, at the door to greet you this morning. We can’t always see that he took care of our finances so when we were wrecked from losing a loved one we could afford to just grieve. We don’t want to be bothered with the mother who is quoting the scripture about waiting for marriage that God gave her for our situation. We reject the wonderful stepfather the Lord sent us because we are too busy hoping that one day our “real dad” may want us back. The pain, the loss the regret it’s all too overwhelming to see past.

So how do we stop the hurt? How do we move past the debilitating feeling of loss? How do we ignore the rejection of love and regain some feeling of self worth? The truth is there is no magic way of healing your pain. There is no set of instructions that is going to take away the hurt, but I can tell you where to start; look for God in your situation, look past pain and find where he’s holding you together. He has not forsaken you, he’s there.  Keep praying and he will heal you. Forgive the person who did you wrong and allow yourself to be free of the power they hold over you. Remember hurt people hurt people; your forgiveness may be what they need to heal. And in the mean time while you still feel the hurt … Just have faith. I know sometimes that phrase makes you physically ill. I know that you feel like you have been running on faith and you just can’t do it anymore. I know that while you are trying to believe in God’s timing and promises deep down you feel he is rejecting you. But I promise he still loves you, he still wants the best for you. He still wants you to depend on him and know that he is worthy of your faith. God will not fail you, he will not give up on you, he will not abandon you, he will not reject you. Have faith, follow his way and know that joy is to come, the heartbreak is only temporary. Give God your heart and let him mend it for you, he will care for it like the precious gift it is.  

How My Daughter-In-Law Is Changing Me

With all of my reading on parenting lately I’ve learned that as mothers we influence our sons’ lives so significantly that we will mold them into the husbands they will become and teach them what to search for in a bride (the same is true for fathers with their daughters.) This is both wonderful and terrifying all at the same time. The fact that the depth of love I show my son will be something he seeks from the woman he will call his wife, is something that couldn’t be more pleasing. I adore my son and I feel such love for him that if his wife loves him half as much then I am the luckiest mother-in-law in the world.   

What’s the problem then?? Well isn’t it obvious, I love that boy way too much to hand him over to someone like me. I’m not good enough, ARE YOU CRAZY!! That means she’s going to be moody and controlling and indecisive and OMG she’s going to be a know it all. She’s going to think she’s never wrong, my son will be lucky if he’s allowed to have an opinion at all! I need help to pray this crazy woman away!!

Who knew I was so scary, it’s no wonder im still single! Lol

What is the solution? My future daughter-in-law is going to help me be the best wife and mother I can possibly be and she is going to save my future husband a lot of heartache. Every time I think of how I want my boy to be supported and encouraged, she will teach me to lift up my husband and stand by him through his successes and failures. When I look at the picture I’m painting for my son’s future wife I will see better the love my spouse deserves and do my best to be worthy of his commitment to me. Every time I think of the appreciation I want her to have for him it will remind me to stop and tell my husband how thankful I am God brought him into my life. Whenever I think of how I want a happy family life for him she will teach me to spend more time at the dinner table and less at the drive thru. My daughter-in-law is pretty amazing.

So what does your child’s potential spouse look like? My prayer is you make her beautiful inside and out, that you make him a man who couldn’t be more loyal to your daughter, that she supports your son and makes him a better man and that he shows your daughter more love than any one person can handle. I pray they make you fiercely proud of the job you’ve done and that you praise God for them every day!

Everyone Has One

Opinions, everybody has them and if you are keeping up with my blog you are bound to hear mine on all sorts of things. I’ll tell you about books and products and food and politics and religion and people, anything I have an opinion on I’m sure you’ll hear about and I’d love to hear your thoughts as well. I’d like to address something that bothers me though, people tend to throw around the phrase “closed minded” a lot and it really gets my blood boiling. If you have an opinion about something and you believe you are right and someone else is wrong GOOD FOR YOU, BE PROUD!!! If you can and will stand up for your beliefs, BRAVO, not enough people fight for what they believe to be right so we need more people like you!

Now does having an opinion mean people shouldn’t listen to an opposing one or research other things to expand their knowledge, of course not. It is good to know what others believe and why, but people shouldn’t be bullied and called closed minded because they stand firm in their beliefs and opinions. How much sense does it make to just rollover and agree with something you feel is wrong for the sake of being agreeable? Do not sacrifice your right to an opinion for the sake of someone else’s. Of course you think your opinion is right because hopefully you think you are pretty smart and you came up with your opinion based on the facts presented to you. Feeling this way does not make anyone closed minded, it just means every other argument presented to us wasn’t compelling enough to change our minds.

Folks, when we come across any opinion and we feel that it is wrong or silly or uneducated or “Closed Minded” we need to realize that it is totally OK, because that person may feel the same way about ours. We may feel we have been sent from the heavens above just for this moment in time to get them set straight, and that is awesome we should go for it, BUT no matter what we have to say when we present any opinion and the argument behind it, it needs to be in an informative yet uplifting manor. Don’t get ugly with people, people will judge your message based on your character so if you want to influence them you need to have a good one. Calling people names, being condescending or insulting a person’s intelligence is just totally unnecessary and it doesn’t make anyone seem any more right on any subject. Remember class we catch more flies with honey ;)     

Besides if not relenting to the idea that someone else’s opinion may be right is what being closed minded is then arguing with them makes YOU closed minded, because according to you THEIR OPINION MAY BE RIGHT!  

Opinions, everyone has one, this is just mine =)

Be Blessed!

It's Rehab Time

For those of you who don’t yet live by this phrase I’d like to introduce you to Trent Shelton. Trent is a former NFL Football player turned motivational speaker and founder of RehabTime. He is quickly becoming my go to man for a good word from God. He has been gifted with the ability to help you see the wrong in your situation, to help you find the negative the things holding you back and open your eyes to how you are keeping yourself from God’s best for your life. Check him out @ http://trentshelton.com/   It all starts with you ;)   I hope you enjoy him as much as I do!

10 Tips for International Adoption

1.      Know the process - Make sure you know what to expect from your country of choice so you can hold your agency accountable. Join groups, read blogs and talk to people who have dealt with your country

2.      Speak with your prospective agency about your expectations – After you have a good idea of the process speak with your agency and see if you find any holes. Did you hear something from someone using a different agency that you have a question about? Don’t let them talk you in circles. You are paying too much and have too much at stake to just take their word for it.

3.      Research medical conditions – Learn the challenges and corrective actions that can be taken for common diagnosis so you are aware of what special needs you may be willing to consider

4.      Consider widening your age range – You’d be surprised how easily you can fall in love with a 5 yr old even though you were searching for a 2 yr old  J

5.      Watch your home study wording and try to understand theirs – Wording can be very important and tricky when it comes to special needs. Did you know that for some countries that when the child reaches a certain age a diagnosis that once said mental delay will now read retardation?? 

6.      Get to know the language – It takes us a lot longer to learn than it does the children and you need to be able to communicate, so start early

7.      The FBI check takes FOREVER get that started ASAP

8.      Moving will cost you money – Try to stay put if you can but if not consider the home study update as part of your moving costs

9.       Pay attention to your Hague training - Consider the child’s circumstances and do not over romanticize your home coming or you could be very disappointed     

10.  Stay busy – If you are proactive and work hard on getting your dossier together time will fly. After that do a little around the house, get the room ready, read parenting books and enjoy the next bit of time to yourself because soon you’ll have your sweet child home and be praying for a moment to rest J   

Pictures from my Bulgaria trip - Scenery of Pleven & Sofia

 

St. Sofia



 

 

We were blessed to be there in beautiful sunny weather next time we might get to check it out in the snow.